Local Man Disappointed:

Finds Out He Can't Actually Pay Rent with Exposure

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In a small, artistic enclave, Jeremy Dorfman, a local painter and part-time barista, was hit with a harsh dose of reality this week. Despite amassing a respectable following on social media, Dorfman was stunned to learn that his landlord, Mrs. Pennyfeather, did not accept "exposure" as a valid form of rent payment.

Dorfman, who has spent the last year meticulously curating his online presence, creating viral TikToks, and hosting virtual art shows, had long believed that his rising internet fame would naturally translate to financial stability. "I mean, I've got thousands of followers," he said, bewildered. "I thought that was like having thousands of dollars."

The artist, who previously traded his paintings for avocado toast and cold brew at the local café, was confident that Mrs. Pennyfeather would be thrilled with the idea of her apartment gaining viral notoriety. "I even offered to do a weekly Instagram Live tour of the place," he explained, still baffled by her refusal.

Mrs. Pennyfeather, a pragmatic woman in her late sixties, responded to Dorfman’s offer with a patience that belied her frustration. "I've been collecting rent for 40 years, and I've never once seen a utility company accept a hashtag as payment," she remarked dryly. "Exposure might pay in the world of art, but it doesn't keep the lights on."

The incident has led Dorfman to reconsider his understanding of economics. "It's crazy to think that in today's digital age, actual money is still a thing," he mused, while updating his profile to include a plea for Venmo donations. He has since launched a GoFundMe campaign titled "Help Jeremy Stay Afloat," in which he promises personalized shoutouts and a heartfelt thank-you video to each donor.

Dorfman's predicament has sparked a debate among local artists and influencers, with many rallying behind him, advocating for "exposure currency" to become a legitimate form of payment. "We live in a world where digital clout should be worth something tangible," argued Tiffany Skye, a lifestyle influencer with 15,000 followers and a penchant for yoga poses in exotic locations.

In response to the growing movement, the local government has issued a statement clarifying that, despite the changing times, legal tender remains the only acceptable form of payment for rent and utilities. They did, however, express interest in the creative solutions being proposed and suggested a town hall meeting to discuss future possibilities.

As for Jeremy Dorfman, he remains optimistic. "This is just a temporary setback," he said, while posting a photo of himself staring pensively out the window with the caption, "Reevaluating life. #RentLife #StrugglingArtist." His followers have since flooded the comments with heart emojis and words of encouragement, though no actual monetary contributions have been reported.

Dorfman is currently considering taking up a part-time job as a dog walker, leveraging his online fame to market his new venture. "Who wouldn't want their dog walked by a local celebrity?" he quipped, while designing a logo for "Dorfman's Dapper Dog Walks."

And so, the struggle between digital fame and real-world responsibilities continues, with Jeremy Dorfman at the forefront, navigating the uncharted waters of exposure economics.

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